Monday, June 1, 2009

Premarital Counseling: Week 4

This weeks Premarital Class was a Fight Class.

Let's face it guys, we are GOING to fight with our men. It is inevitable. The key thing is to know how to fight so that it is not destructive to our relationships.

We got some pretty amazing advice, but this is what stood out in my mind...

If you have fights, then you should always follow the following guidelines. If you do, you can make it through anything.

Face each other - eye to eye
Ignore distractions - stay on the subject
Guard your tongue - no name calling "James 3:5-6"
Halt the history - bringing up th past communicates, "you are NOT forgiven". God brings up history to remind us of his unfailing love for us, not to condemn us.
Touch - holding hands softens the heart
Stay in there - "finish the fight"

Surgeons during long operations would like to quit; go home and get 8 hours of sleep, but they can't. The open wound needs to be cleaned and sewn up to heal; so do arguments.

If you remember to fight with the FIGHTS acronym then you can get through it without causing destruction to your relationship. It will not be easy, but I know that all of us can do it! :)

How do you fight?

Take care until next time,

6 Wedding Bells:

Nicole-Lynn said...

Totally agree! Great advice.

TwinsanityMom said...

Great advice and so true!!! Even us old married couples need to be reminded of that every now and then. :)

LauraAnn said...

I love the fight guideline! Such great advice. Thanks so much for sharing!!

Katie said...

good advice! thanks for sharing.

Jen said...

that is some good advice. thanks for sharing. we start premarital counseling this weekend.

Becky said...

Loved this post! I wish that I had been given this kind of information before I had gotten married 13 years ago... oh well, my husband and I eventually learned how to fight in a healthy way thanks to a great book titled, "The Missing Link"
by Drs. Richard & Phyllis Arno. It taught me how to understand my husband's behavior. I learned that what he says isn't always necessarily what he means- comes out wrong sometimes. As with your post, this book is also one that I wish I would have had available to me and my husband to read before we had gotten married- a lot of valuable information.